ALTAR: Santiago Guzman on ghosts, ghosting and Dias de Muertos in Newfoundland

20Sep 2022 - photos: Ashley Harding

"I was being ghosted by a lot of people on dating apps," says Santiago Guzman. "Tons, And that hurt. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. In the end, really, all I wanted was an opportunity to close a cycle with these people who I was falling for. And I thought to myself, what would happen if I saw them one last time so I can move on? I thought about how we use altars in our Mexican Día de Muertos celebration to reconnect with our loved ones that are no longer with us and I had an 'aha' moment. I decided to write ALTAR. In the process, I came to understand that ghosting happened not only romantically, but also with dear friends and family members that we distance ourselves from."

The narrative of ALTAR revolves around both the Mexican celebration Dia de Muertos and the universal experience of dating app ghosting. "Growing up in Mexico I celebrated both Día de Muertos and Halloween," says Guzman. "Día de Muertos was more about the ceremony of welcoming our loved ones who visited us from the afterlife, a couple of days of remembrance and appreciation of their memories. Halloween was a party! It was about the fun costumes, trick or treating and lots of candy. When I first moved to Newfoundland, I was excited to experience a Canadian version of Halloween. I thought it would be fun. And it was, until I saw people dressed up as Mexicans. That's when I would be like, 'So, am I a costume for you?' The harmful stereotype, you know?" 

But Guzman stresses that Halloween and Dia de Muertos are two very different things. "Being so far away from my community in Mexico, I wasn't forced, by the community or my family, to celebrate Día de Muertos. But even trying to celebrate here was a challenge, especially finding the right supplies needed to partake in the celebration. Now, it has become a choice. Do I want to partake in the celebration? Why? What does that look like? And it has made me feel closer to Mexico when I am so far away but also feel like I am setting roots in Newfoundland and Labrador as well. A piece of home at home." He also sees a direct connection between Dia de Muertos and the theatrical experience. "It's about the community aspect of gathering. Whether if it's life that we're celebrating or theatre that we are creating and sharing. It's all about community." 

The second element had less choice involved. "While I was writing ALTAR, my boyfriend at the time completely ghosted me. I didn't realize it until I finished my first draft and I was like 'Wow, I just wrote my life.' There have been multiple drafts since, so the play is not about that, but, of course, there are some hints here and there. I am very mindful about ghosting people because it hurt me so much, but I am not perfect and I still have done it. I hope the audience gets to see a bit of Newfoundland and Labrador from the perspective of a young, queer, Mexican immigrant who is trying to heal from a heartbreak. ALTAR is about relationships, love, and forgiveness."

And there was another, a spookier, bit of inspiration. "When I was younger, my mom and I were seeing weird shadows and heard strange noises in our house. We didn't want to talk about it because we were afraid of scaring one another, so we were both confiding in my sister's nanny about it. Finally, my sister's nanny urged us to talk to each other because we were seeing the same thing: the shadow of a little person that presented as a little girl who appeared to be all covered in ashes. Shortly after, my four-year-old sister told us that she had an 'imaginary friend', who appeared to be exactly the same person my mom and I were describing. My sister explained she was all 'ashy-looking' because she had been burnt. We were gagged. My mother found out through the landlord that the house we lived in used to be a crop field, and many many many years ago, there was a fire that got out of control, and some people passed from it, including children. My mom, immediately set up an altar in our living room to help the soul of this little person find their way back to wherever they were lost from. It was April or so but, most importantly, not around Día de Muertos time. A few days went by and my sister told us that her imaginary friend had to leave, and we stopped seeing the shadows around the house. This experience really inspired me to include a similar event in ALTAR, to justify why the lead character in the play, Eugenio, all of a sudden built an altar in the middle of winter in Newfoundland and Labrador."

ALTAR is being presented as part of the annual RUTAS festival and Guzman will be journeying from his home base in Newfoundland to perform. "It was a happy accident that I ended up in Newfoundland," says Guzman. "I thought I was not good enough to be admitted to the National Theatre School of Mexico, which at the time was the place to go to pursue theatre in Mexico. I was afraid of failing. Sad but true. I had no idea about the Canadian theatre landscape. Zero. Slowly I heard from my classmates about places like Stratford and Shaw, and then more specifically in Newfoundland about Rising Tide Theatre and Artistic Fraud of Newfoundland. In the beginning, I didn't intend to stay in Canada after completing my studies. In fact, I thought I would move back to Mexico immediately after. Obviously that didn't happen." 

Guzman explains that, "As I got immersed in the Newfoundland theatre sector, I began to understand the history of political theatre that was created in the '70s and '80s looked very different from the intentions of theatre creators outside of Newfoundland. I think the reality of my community is, naturally, different from others, . The themes, characters, and stories that I am interested in putting forth in Newfoundland may appear quite common elsewhere, but here, these stories are somewhat new for people. With my work, I am very interested in expanding the narrative of what Newfoundland looks like, sounds like, and feels like, where people like me have leading roles and not only supporting white narratives in the background. I am interested in the intersectionality of my identities. How one informs the experience of the other, and vice-versa. What does it mean to be queer, immigrant and brown in a predominantly heteronormative, settler, white community?"

There is one other smug misconception that Guzman wants to clear up. "I began living my queerness more openly when I got to Newfoundland. Not because I couldn't do it in Mexico, but because I became an adult here. But I have come to learn a lot about queerness in Mexico and its hurdles with patriarchy, misogyny, and homophobia- and I don't think Newfoundland and Canada are exempt from that either." His full intersectionality will be on display with ALTAR and Guzman is looking forward to taking in other performances at the RUTAS festival. He's excited about, "Pequeños Territorios en Reconstrucción, because they're from Mexico and I am so curious about Aliens, Immigrants & Other Evildoers. Cacao: A Venezuelan Lament is another one that I am drawn to, but let's be honest, the entire festival looks amazing."