Ray Jacildo on becoming a White Muscle Daddy

25 Mar 2024 - Photos by Hofworks

Ray Jacildo is the sexual come-on at the center of the marketing for White Muscle Daddy as he writhes and poses, muscles flexing through the smoke, in the trailer. The play itself is billed as an experiment in horror on stage using filmic elements. And promises to be as much about gender as it is an exploration of the horror genre. All the elements, and Jacildo, are intriguing and somewhat mysterious. But when he agreed to answer a few questions to promote White Muscle Daddy, Jacildo subverted any expectations, being thoughtful, politically astute, and as intellectually sexy as his physique while maintaining that mystery.

Drew Rowsome: How did you come to join the production?

Ray Jacildo: I was performing in a show in Saskatchewan and had actually only auditioned over Zoom. The character was originally a white-passing Spaniard and I remember saying, "I’m sure I have Spanish blood in me due to Spain colonizing the Philippines for over 300 years, but I’m definitely Filipino. And not white-passing." They said they would change the role if I was the right fit, and here I am.

From the trailer, your social media thirst traps and the previous roles I’ve seen you in (Kink Observed, Who’s Afraid of Titus?) it’s obvious that you are no stranger to the gym or building a classical gay male body. If White Muscle Daddy is partially a critique of trying to achieve those standards, how do you fit your physicality into that beyond the necessity for the role? Is it a necessity for your career? Is it a necessity for your sex life?

Ray Jacildo: I don’t believe the show to be a critique against the 'ideal' gay male body. I believe it to be a warning of aspiring to that ideal, and the damage we can do to ourselves in pursuit of and in comparison to it. On the other side of this coin, for those who do not or cannot have this body type, they are still forced into these boxes, dealing with fatphobia and femmephobia. I have been physically preparing for the role for over a year, and even have a body building coach helping me. From my personal perspective, the grass isn’t necessarily always greener on the other side. Prior to the play, I began seriously going to the gym for myself. I had entered a new decade of my life and wanted to feel good and strong in my body. As an Asian male, the opportunities for me in our industry are almost always related to asexual or nerdy characters, doctors, or techies. As I began physically changing, it became apparent to me that I had the opportunity to redefine the image of what I bring on stage/screen. My artistic perspective deals a lot with breaking stereotypes. To represent characters that I had rarely seen in my youth. Now I find it a necessity for my work.

Did working on White Muscle Daddy alter your perception of the above question? Will it alter an audience’s perception?

Ray Jacildo: It absolutely did. Working on the show really put into focus the severity of objectification this section of gay men go through on a daily basis. Growing up as a heavier Asian man, I developed the mentality of slinking into the background, being invisible and undesired. “No fats, no fems, no Asians” was a term constantly repeated in my youth. My physical change, and the objectification in the show has thrust me into the opposite end. It can be a lot to deal with because our community bases so much on our looks. I don’t know if it will change the audience’s perception, but it will definitely raise questions about perpetuating these ideals. It made me realize that this ‘worship’ of a muscular ideal is a two-way street. It takes the objectifier and the objectified. Most of the time it can be flattering to be wanted, but for me, it is all about consent.

How does it feel to be a deliberate object of desire as part of the marketing for White Muscle Daddy?

Ray Jacildo: On social media, there’s a lovely separation between the audience and myself. It’s really flattering to get all the positive comments. Eugene is so different from who Ray is, so when people come up to me in person, I get a little flustered. The iron grip that the "white" from White Muscle Daddy standards of beauty has held on the culture and particularly gay culture is slowly being chipped away.

In Kink Observed you had a very brave, insightful and disturbing monologue about race play. At what point does fetishization become mainstream attraction? At what point will white muscle daddies be recognized as a fetish rather than a standard or goal?

Ray Jacildo: Fetishization comes from the idea that a single quality becomes the primary source of sexual pleasure. That sexual acts with a person with muscles, supersede the person. I’ve been on the receiving end of being an Asian fetish. It is not a good feeling. And I believe our community’s attraction with muscles fall into that category. But to fetishize is also to objectify - to no longer see someone as a multi-layered person but rather an object with a use or singular quality, like a coffee cup. If you think about the West, and a white colonial view of ‘what is attractive?’ it is difficult to simply take the majority, the overarching power structure and reduce it to a fetish. Fetish leans into the non-traditional. Countries that don’t have a white majority would be different. As I spoke about in Kink Observed, sex and power are inextricably linked. So when you start to bring our society into it, it becomes a whole lot more complicated.

Queer horror is having a moment which places White Muscle Daddy in the right place at the right time. Writer/director Raf Antonio has talked a lot about his connection with the genre, where does his enthusiasm and interests intersect with yours? 

Ray Jacildo: My artistic voice is one that represents several underrepresented intersections and so queer storytelling is an important part of my personal artistic mandate. That being said, prior to the show, I hadn’t watched horror movies since the early 2000s. I get very into all the movies I watch so I’d always steered away. I get totally scared. This show has pushed me to delve deep into the horror genre, which has such a rich history of queer work. It’s amazing. I’m still terrified of each one I watch though.

What has been your favourite part of the process of putting White Muscle Daddy together?

Ray Jacildo: My favourite part is delving into the character of the muscle gay but from a Filipino lens. Someone who is still very much influenced by colonialism and power structures that have been put in place in the west. Who is very much hurt by it, and still seeks to be part of it. I loved creating Eugene physically and emotionally.