The Gay AF Comedy Tour: spreading queer joy across this great land

26 Mar 2024 - photos courtesy of Robert Watson

This land is your land,
This land is my land,
From Bonavista 
To Vancouver Island,
From the Arctic Circle, 
To the Great Lake waters, 
This land was made for you and me

Did you hear the one about the two queers who set off across Canada on a Gay AF Comedy Tour? Best they tell it in their own words with their own punchlines.

Drew Rowsome: The show is billed as The Gay AF Comedy Tour with Al Val as headliner and Robert Watson as host. Are there more acts joining at the different stops or are the two of you already too much “queer joy” to handle? 

Robert Watson: We’ve got amazing local comedians at each stop on the tour. I’m super excited to be sharing the Gay AF stage with queer comedians from all over Canada. 

Al Val: I am shocked you would suggest such a thing - you can never have too much queer joy! On every leg of our tour we will be joined by local LGBT+ acts that will delight, dazzle, and bring the house down. Not only will audiences leave feeling full of joy but between Rob, myself, and the talented guests we’re featuring on the road, every single audience will also leave still wanting more. And for the audience members who find themselves not fully joyful at the end of each show we will be offering free puppies! ( That offer is definitely not at all valid. Are you nuts? How would we budget for that?) 

With the demise of the Just For Laughs festival, Celine Dion is arguably all that is left of Canadian culture. Does this put more pressure on you to deliver laughs? To become superstars?

Robert Watson: We are certainly delivering 'show' with this tour, and I’ve even got a parody song or two up my sleeve that will be sure to fill that Celine Dion gap in all of our hearts. Are we feeling superstar pressure? I don’t think so, our delulu is big enough that we’ll likely be manifesting superstar chaos wherever we go.

Al Val: Just For Laughs may have been canceled this year but in the immortal words of Celine herself, its “heart will go on and on,” and I intend to embody the very essence of what Just For Laughs represents. In fact, I promise right here right now that my closing number each night will involve my putting on a red-horned, green Just For Laughs goblin suit and screaming “Mommy! It's over!” at the end of each show - not only to maintain a level of familiarity and culture, but also to work out some parental psychological issues I’ve been confronting lately.

Victoria and Vancouver are cultural hubs as are Toronto and Montreal, what are you expecting in Calgary and Edmonton?

Robert Watson: I think Alberta audiences are always looking for unique experiences, and our LGBTQ+ community out there could use a moral boost with everything that their provincial government is up to. We’re going to give them a big old dose of Queer Joy that they’re just going to go gaga for. Even the married guys on Grindr are gonna love us.

Al Val: Other than Grindr being full of closeted married men? In Edmonton we’re going to dig up dinosaur bones, and in Calgary we’re going to have a screaming match with the locals about what gender the dinosaur was.

What do you have against Halifax, St John’s, Moose Jaw and Sarnia?

Robert Watson: Nothing against them except budgets constraints! We certainly hope that this tour is the start of something that can grow and visit every region of the country!

Al Val: Not enough closeted married men on Grindr.

What Canadian city would you most like to perform in and why?

Robert Watson: I’m looking forward to visiting my hometown of Victoria with the show, it’s always a surreal experience to see someone you knew in elementary school in the audience. And Montreal needs laughs more than ever with the whole Just For Laughs debacle, Gay AF was there last July and I know they’re thirsty to have us back!

Al Val: I’ve performed in Iqaluit, so I can confidently say I’ve been everywhere that really counts. However, I would really love to perform anywhere in PEI! I hear if you bomb hard enough the audience throws potatoes at you.

Do you have to fine tune your one-liners and routines to the different cities?

Robert Watson: Queer comedy is universal so I think everyone that attends will be in on the jokes, but of course I’ve got a few gems that will be just for each city that we stop in.

Al Val: Yes and no . . .  If your material is highly referential then it helps to talk to some locals before the show and make sure you’re not sending jokes flying over everyone’s heads. Fortunately enough, not only is my material very personal and therefore fairly universally relatable, but I’m also the type to get distracted by the slightest things while I’m performing. My favourite thing to do onstage is physically interact with anything I can get my hands on; I’ve made audience members set up a picnic table I found backstage while I critiqued their form, and one show I gave a guy a massive, heady wooden stump I found. He proudly sat with it in his lap the entire show! Not sure if he took it home but I like to think he carries it everywhere he goes in his heart. But yes, I do like speaking off the cuff about what I noticed or encountered while I was in somebody’s city! I guess what I’m saying is that no matter what city I’m in, you can expect from ol’ Al Val a certain brand of chaos to inimitably happen that night. 

Do you have to fine tune the wattage of your queerness to the different cities?

Robert Watson: No way! In fact if we feel it’s needed we will amp up the queerness wherever it’s required.

Al Val: To be honest I’ve never been to Victoria and I haven’t been to Alberta since before I came out and transitioned, but that’s not going to stop me from being who I am. I couldn’t “tone” myself down even if I tried. I am who I am and if people have a problem with that it is merely a projection of something they are responsible for coping with. YOLO baby, I’m gonna be my damn self anywhere!

How do you handle breaking groupie hearts in far-flung Canadian locales? Is it harder to dump a groupie or silence a heckler? Which prepared quip/speech have you used the most?

Robert Watson: Most hecklers are just enjoying themselves and pretty easy to handle so no worries there. As for the groupies who may want to handle me, I will be using my wedding ring as my groupie deflector, like Wonder Woman does with her bracelets. "Pew pew! We'll see if that works.

Al Val: Unless I have to manage the emotional well-being of a heckler for five months afterwards, it is always harder to dump a groupie. You can snare a heckler in your trap and eat it up like a lobster, but a groupie experience can linger like crabs. No no no no, truly I’m a softie so it would hypothetically be difficult making a clean break with a groupie, but if I had to, I would probably describe to them this gaping hole in my soul that seeks fulfillment constantly, and that the best way I know to fill this hole is by sharing it with as many people as I can from city to city across the country.

What are you anticipating will be the most glamorous aspect of being on the road?

Robert Watson: I got a good deal on a Best Western motel in Edmonton, so I am giddy with anticipation.

Al Val: The most glamorous aspect of being on the road is truly the 'all eyes on me' experience of being onstage. Performing is such a rush and a massive joy, and I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t reference that intoxicating feeling of having an entire room eating out of the palm of my hand. The second-most glamorous aspect of being on the road is getting my opening act to carry around my heavy merch suitcase for me.

The most disgusting?

Robert Watson: I got a good deal on a Best Western motel in Edmonton, so I am terrified with anticipation.

Al Val: Depending how many whiskey shots were bought for me and how much late night double cheese pizza I ate the night before, the departing flight the day after a gig could become a problem for everyone on board. My poor gastrointestinal system is something I don’t spare a lot of consideration for until I’m trapped in a metal tube 35,000 feet in the air with a hundred strangers. With a twenty-sixer of Canadian Club and a killogram of mozzarella lurching through my guts.

Who gets the top bunk on the tour bus? How was that decision reached?

Robert Watson: Oh the luxury of having a tour bus! We actually haven’t discussed who the top is. I guess we'll find out.

Al Val: Well Robert is married, so naturally he and his husband get the bunk bed and I will sleep on the floor where I belong.

Who will be lugging the largest wardrobe and the most make-up?

Robert Watson: Oh me for sure. A bunch of stuff I probably won’t even use, but I was in scouts as a kid so I’m always prepared. Let's start some fires and tie some knots!

Al Val: In all seriousness that’ll be Rob for sure! I’m a minimalist, basic bitch who can do no better than a smokey eye, so that’s all the makeup I’ll be bringing with me. As for wardrobe, I’m a veteran road comic so I do the classic road dog trick of strategically squirreling away underpants in hiding places at every major city in Canada. Saves me luggage space, and sometimes I find that my panties have been made into a cute nest for a family of possums when I’ve returned to retrieve them. Everybody wins.

Your Toronto stop will be at Glad Day Bookshop. What is your second most eagerly anticipated venue on the tour and why?

Robert Watson: Hometown Victoria is at the top of my mind, but I’m excited to meet everyone in all the cities we’re coming to.

Al Val: It’s hard to say. I’ve honestly heard nothing but positive things about hecklers in Victoria. I recently did Chill X Studios for Just For Laughs Vancouver and it’s such a hip, fun spot. And I really can’t wait to see what’s in store in Edmonton and Calgary; I don’t want to be presumptuous but I think a boldly queer-themed comedy show might be a refreshing experience for the locals. But I’d have to say I’m most excited for Montreal, because with a suggestive venue name like 'Wiggle Room' I’m expecting an exceptional amount of intimate physical contact.

The tour begins in Victoria and climaxes in Montreal, which is also the plot of many a classic Canadian novel. What heartwarming ambition do you hope to fulfil as you travel across this great country?

Robert Watson: I guess I need to catch up on my reading. I’ve really become attached to this idea of spreading queer joy with Gay AF Comedy, I hope we warm hearts and elicit big gay laughs wherever we go!

Al Val: I hope to check off some long-awaited bucket list items on this tour. I want to be devoured by a bear in BC, impaled by a bull in Alberta, and have a menage-a-trois with a pair of couche-tard managers in Quebec. But to end on a more serious note—which is a massive faux-pas in comedy—this is my first cross-Canada tour since I transitioned, and I anticipate that there will be something unforgettable about doing what I’ve always dreamed of doing as a kid. This time as my truly liberated self I’m going to absorb and cherish every moment of this experience, and express my gratitude in every chaotic, over-the-top performance I give. There aren’t enough stumps in the world I could donate to fully express the gratitude I feel to be doing this.