Boof for bottoms
22 Sep 2020.

About five years ago, those fucktards at Health Canada banned the sale of poppers. I assume it is still okay to own them or to purchase them abroad, but why split hairs? Overnight, poppers became illegal in Canada, and with no resistance whatsoever from the gay press. After all, who would be affected, other than bottoms? And who has any respect for a bottom? 

It was a ban that no one had asked for, but here we are, in a popperless society, allowing the war on bottoms to rage on unabated. Since those dark times when the ban was first instituted, poppers aficionados have had to make online purchases from England, or go to more enlightened places like New York in order to get some. What a rigamarole. But just today, I finally found a blinding ray of hope at the end of the long dark tunnel.  

“They say it will help you take XL guys and more,” blares the ad copy, and by ‘more’ they must mean forearms. They call the product Boof, a CBD oil ‘butt shot’ that claims to make your rosette bloom. At last, we can all accommodate the many XL men in our lives. Boof is the brain child of a company called Fort Troff who, in tandem with another company named Fiora, have fashioned this miracle cure in the form of little suppositories. “You won't get fucked up or desensitized” from use, they claim. “There's no THC. Your ass will simply feel really fuckin good.”

A box costs $55, but can you really put a price on a relaxed rectum when it comes to insertion? It seems to me that Boff is a godsend, although if God really does exist, he will make those shit eaters at Health Canada reverse their senseless and pointless poppers ban as well.