QueerXLive!
18 Oct 2020.

I realized how old I am when I watched the QueerX Live! award show on Revry TV. What are the awards for? They kept showing videos, but did any of them actually win something? Maybe if I just describe it to you, it might make more sense.  

It begins with two queer hosts over-enunciating a welcome. Then they introduce basketball great Isiah Thomas, who gives an award to his own son. The son then goes on to deliver the slowest acceptance speech in history. Then some short films from around the world are shown. Then some cute guy named Heartthrob Robb does a rap tune in a white fringe jacket, which he ditches halfway and finishes the song bare-chested. This is followed by several loud reminders to vote in the upcoming election. Yes, democracy requires participation, but does everything have to sound like hectoring? This is followed by the obligatory mention of Marsha P Johnson.

Then there’s this Latin dance troupe and suddenly, two new hosts appear. The guy, Andy Lalwani (pictured below with his arm around some girl), is actually quite appealing. I wish the whole two-hour presentation was just a close-up of his face. More short films, more dance numbers, more people telling me to get out and vote. Then, J Lo shows up dressed humbly in a tie-dyed cotton top, hair swept back, giant hoop earrings, and flawless make-up. She introduces us to her hero, some kid accepting a Visibility award with another leaden acceptance speech. Throughout, there is much talk about Revry’s new series Amplifying Voices, but what’s the point when every single one of those voices being amplified says the exact same things in the exact same words and phrases every single time? The hosts switch again, and then Karamo from Queer Eye puts the cherry on the empowerment sundae when he says something like You’re not coming out to them - you are letting them come in to you. 

Finally, the hosts say goodnight and throw to singer and capital letter addict VINCINT who does one of those dance club anthems with lots of flashing lights. Then, after the show is over, the CEO of Revry, a jolly Canadian guy, shows up to introduce the big ‘get’ - VP Joe Biden, looking good in a blue suit jacket and tie. Vote for him. And with that, the show ended. 

I guess it’s a good thing. Lots of queer youth need validation, but it exhausts me that everyone plays the victim card and despite being called ‘queer’, almost every single person being honoured is trans. It's like being trapped inside Ellen Page’s brain. But what do I know? I’m ancient.