Doc Weathergloom's Here There Be Monsters: a quest to save the world, one book sale at a time
28 Oct 2023

by Drew Rowsome - Photos by Adrianna Prosser

Wherever you go, you are here. And here there be monsters
- Doc Weathergloom, Travelling Exorcist, Necromancer, Expert in Thaumaturgy and Cryptozoology

I write this missive in the elusive hope that I will survive long enough to post it. Not as a warning, but as a ray of hope in an otherwise dark and frightening world. I attended Eldritch Theatre's presentation of Doc Weathergloom's Here There Be Monsters and was as dazzled, elucidated and amused as I had hoped I would be. Alas, I am now also inevitably doomed. Not only did I eagerly participate as a volunteer when Doc Weathergloom opened a portal to the Goblin Universe, unleashing a hideous creature with malevolent mayhem on its mind, I failed to, as repeatedly warned, purchase a copy of Doc Weathergloom's Field Guide to Monsters. Both Doc Weathergloom and his lovely assistant Caeserina emphatically stressed that the Field Guide to Monsters is indispensable in situations like this. In fact Here There Be Monsters if filled with examples of times where hideous horrible tragedies could have been avoided if only that pertinent tome had been read. 

One would almost think that Here There Be Monsters is a live action infomercial for Field Guide to Monsters. But with the guide being a mere $5, a bargain at twice the price I must now admit, that theory does not seem practical.   

Persistent (and hilarious) pitches for Field Guide to Monsters aside, Here There Be Monsters is monstrously entertaining. Eric Woolfe (As You Like It) is even more illustrious than his alter ego Doc Weathergloom. Woolfe manipulates puppets, performs sleight of hand magic, astounds with his mentalist abilities, sings and plays the banjo, and, as aforementioned, opens a portal to the Goblin Universe. The structure is a scheherazadian tale that involves a hapless boy who unfortunately is not "you must be this tall to ride." So he makes a deal with occult forces that results in bloody danger from a fairy wearing a pointed red hat full of blood. Fortunately 11-year-old Andy has read Field Guide to Monsters so we know he will survive. Most of the characters he describes in his stories within the story will not. A fate worse than death that will also befall much of the audience.

Woolfe draws on Lovecraftian mythology, Ricky Jay, Tales From the Crypt and Creepy comics, vaudeville, Jim Henson, sideshow lore and banter, Chris Angel, the Toronto Sun as well as reliable topical news, sources both arcane and profane, then mixes and matches to create a fast paced medicine show that pushes literature instead of snake oil. Using a seemingly endless supply of mummified heads of various creatures and clairvoyants, Woolfe/Weathergloom dresses his magic in morality tales of horror that are refreshingly free of morals. The atmosphere is just disturbingly spooky enough—be sure to use the washroom if only to see the pickled punks—to balance out the hilarity. The verbal gymnastics are far too rapid—an alphabetical recitation of the vast variety of deadly monsters lurking nearby but which are, of course, combatable if one owns a copy of Field Guide to Monsters—for Weathergloom to keep his tongue safely within his cheek resulting in reality checks amidst the unreality. Here There Be Monsters is frighteningly fun and a crash course in the folklore horrors all around us (who doesn't fear the Suburban Sasquatch and its prognostic toe?) . I only wish that I was going to survive long enough to visit Doc Weathergloom even just once again. And this time buy one of the damn books.