Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood: a glimpse into Patricia Wilson's soul

28 July 2019.
by Drew Rowsome -

Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood by Patricia Wilson, is a book that, ethically, I can't review. But it is also a book that I really enjoy and admire, and that I believe those who read it will find powerful and inspirational. So I am going to write about it in the hopes that this will help it in finding the wider audience it deserves.

The first part of a full disclosure, is that I pitched in with a last minute rushed copy-edit just before Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood went to print. That readthrough was under pressure and with technical aspects in mind, but I found myself continually absorbed in the words, reading for pleasure and elucidation, so that I may have (I know I have) missed some grammatical or style transgressions. I blame that on Patricia, she writes so fluidly and she loves to transgress.

The second part of the disclosure is that I have had the honour of knowing Patricia for close to two decades. The grand adventure of Crackpuppy is one we undertook together, and the creative turmoil involved has resulted in an intimacy that I feel with few other people. We first met, of course, across a bar, doing shots of Jack Daniels to a soundtrack of rock n' roll. There was an instant connection so we met for coffee where she uttered those words that inspire dread, "Would you read my poetry and tell me what you think?"

Fortunately her poetry was extraordinary, full of insight, humour and harsh truths delivered with grace. I was to discover that those were qualities that Patricia applied to composing, lyric writing, her omnivorous absorption of literature and music, and life itself. Qualities, with an extra injection of rueful optimism, that infuse her famous Facebook posts that are quoted in Musings From the Bunker. Qualities that Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood possess in abundance. 

The structure of Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood is ingenious and I suspect that much of that is the work of editor David Bateman (A Mad Bent Diva) who is the co-author with Patricia of the poetry collection Transmeditations released simultaneously with Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood. Patricia's book begins with a Facebook post from October 20, 2015 - "A poem woke me up, nudged me in the ribs to get it down" - and continues with posts up until July 6 (the day after Patricia's birthday), 2017. 

If the idea of collecting Facebook posts seems like a shortcut towards completing a word count, then you haven't been reading Patricia's near-daily missives. Her posts are one of the few things I sorely miss during my frequent bans from the social media behemoth. A cross between a diary and poetic observations, the posts chronicle the mundanity of daily life, promotion of the bar at Buddies where she works, musings on family, drunken escapades, occasional forays into political analysis, and her love for the incandescent Helene. Life is hard, but the posts are full of joy and appreciation for that joy. Saturated with wonder at the agony and ecstasy of being alive. She is one of the few people who can type "Be kind, love is the answer, slow yourself down for even five minutes and breathe. Cheers,"without being in the least saccharine or naive. 

The middle section, Slouching Towards Womanhood, is a collection of short stories and poems that form a sort of memoir, a creative non-fictional accounting of Patricia's life. And here we learn just how hard won that joy in the mundane has been. Because of Patricia's ability to communicate with words and her status as an icon in the LGBT community, it has been suggested many times that she should write her autobiography. She always responds with, "I have nothing to say. No-one would find it interesting." Slouching Towards Womanhood proves those statements false.

Some of the stories and poems I have read before, some are events I have heard Patricia describe or muse on, but to read them in a flow, occasionally a torrent, of chosen words is a different experience. This is not a memoir of a difficult period in her life, of being trans, of slouching towards womanhood, of how being an other and finding one's place is a battle not for the weak or easily intimidated, but rather a matter of fact, shot through with a fine eye for the absurd and humorous, recounting of what happened and how it felt. How an intense personal transition holds lessons for all of us about perseverance, tolerance and becoming one's complete self no matter the cost. 

Then in reverse chronological order, there are more Musings From the Bunker, with an accent on Christmas and the celebration of the new year, that bring us close to the present. After Slouching Towards Womanhood they acquire more resonance, more depth, and infinitely more melancholic joy.

My reactions to Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood are coloured by my relationship with Patricia (I'm even mentioned in a few posts, fortunately not negatively) but I have no doubts that any reader will find "Vietnam," "'cervix buster,'" "Colorado Greyhound," and both parts of "Coming Home" intense. As with Crackpuppy, as in the story "First time onstage with a guitar in Toronto," Patricia is talking about the human experience filtered through her unique experience. Slouching Towards Womanhood may be explicitly about transitioning but it is specifically about how to be a mindful, loving person. And how to forgive.

Anyone who has had the good fortune to experience Patricia reading her poetry or stories, will know that she ad libs, adds self-effacing asides, and frequently approaches stand-up. That is, as well as entertaining and endearing, a protective device. A device that fortunately appears only rarely on the page. With her art, Patricia risks incredible vulnerability, revealing her faith in the divinity of the human spirit, allowing glimpses of the soul beneath her rock n' roll armour. A masterful memoir or poem takes the reader inside another person's head, alters the way one sees the world, allows one to feel a life one may not have considered or bothered to understand. Musings From the Bunker & Slouching Towards Womanhood is an introduction to a remarkable woman and an inspiration. She is someone worth getting to know.