Bellini is gold
07 Apr 2019.

Last week marked the Return of the Gold Suit.

The Gold Suit was made for me by Gina Anki of Theatrix Costume Shop in Toronto. It is made of gold lame with silver glitter lapels. I have the pants, too, but I usually just wear the jacket. Twice last week I found occasion to show off this eye-catching piece of wardrobe, modelled after Elvis Presley’s legendary gold suit. Please note that I am not trying to impersonate Elvis. I am simply channelling his impeccable good taste in clothes.

The first was the Canadian Screen Awards, which is Canada’s Oscars and Emmys shmushed into one big fuckfest. The Kids in the Hall were being honoured with the Academy Icon Award, and Scott Thompson asked me to be his date. It was fun, following Scott and the rest of the Kids on the red carpet. We did about five interviews with the likes of ET Canada, CBC and other entertainment news organisms. Everyone asked the same shitty questions, like “What’s it like to be honoured?” and “What’s so special about Canadian comedy?” Nobody cares about the answers, trust me. The biggest laugh was when Thompson backed up abruptly and knocked the ET host flat on her ass, her high heels reaching for the sky. I felt sorry for the poor girl, who laughed and camped it up for the camera, but she no doubt woke the next morning to massive bruises on her ass. You just can’t take Thompson anywhere.

Always the kidders, the Kids pretended to be asleep in their chairs while Will & Grace star Erik McCormick inducted them into the Academy. Then they did a bit in which missing member Mark McKinney was replaced with an old lady in a wheelchair. Lots of kidding ensued, but then David Foley teared up on stage recounting the passing of Kids make-up artist Gerilyn Wraith and hair designer Judy Cooper-Sealy, who both died in the past year. Those two women created the look of almost every Kids in the Hall character. They are legends. Afterwards, we hit the dance floor. I danced with Jean Yoon of Kim’s Convenience and flirted with mega-hunk Franco Lo Presti of Bad Blood. And of course, throughout the evening, people kept complimenting, and coveting, the gold jacket. 

Four nights later, I was a guest for the fifth season premiere of On the Couch, a Rogers cable talk show focusing on Toronto’s LGBT+ community. The guests were Jade Elektra, Robyn DeCradle, Jordan Alexander, Belle Jumelles and myself. Once again, the gold jacket worked its magic, inviting compliments and awe from new friends like filmmaker Kate Johnston and her friend Linda Manzer. I was asked if I had any memories of doing The Kids in the Hall show back in the '90s, so I told him about the time I played Napoleon in a sketch that we shot on location in a public park. As I exited the make-up trailer, a bus containing brats passed by and one yelled out the window, “Hey, look, its Hitler!” 

Finally, when it was all over, I went home and took off the gold suit, hanging it in the closet for the next big event looming in my future. As I proved twice in one week, when you want to be the centre of attention, and shine like a bauble, wear a gold suit. Nothing else will do.